Couples should seek therapy long before they think they “need” to. Most experts believe that therapy can be an important part of your relationship. Most issues within a couple start small and then grow in size when they don’t get resolved. This is where therapy can help, by giving tools and techniques to improve conflict resolution. The majority of couples that I work with say that they should have started therapy years earlier. There are three sides to every story: his side, her side and the truth. An objective third party can be just the ticket when couples feel they can no longer communicate effectively.
Although every therapist is different, there are some commonalities. The first session typically involves the therapist getting to know you, discussing the areas of the relationship they hope to improve and setting goals. Couples come to therapy for any number of reasons, but in my experience, in addition to infidelity, the greatest issues include sex, communication, money and major life changes such as getting married or starting a family. Couples therapy is also a good idea if one of you is coping with an issue that might be affecting your relationship (such as depression) or simply if you’re feeling stuck and stagnant in your relationship.
Therapy can provide a safe space to talk about sensitive topics such as sex. Just like folks can get caught in a negative relational cycle, couples can often also get stuck in a negative sexual cycle.Communication is also a big concern for couples. But simply talking with each other more isn’t the answer. There is communication, and then there’s effective communication. Both parties need to feel heard, soothed, respected and cared for first. We analyze old communication patterns and then replace them with feasible and more effective ones. These are all worked out collaboratively with the couple and within the context of their everyday life.